Out of My Mind

If I hadn’t already lost my mind over all this baby shower business, last night would have put me right over the edge.  The one thing that I was asked to do for the shower was to make my chocolate/caramel pretzel rods.  On Wednesday night, I did the first step, dipping them in caramel.  Last night was my night to dip them in milk chocolate.  Just one problem.  I couldn’t get the friggen things off the wax paper.  Now, correct me if I’m wrong, but I thought the whole purpose of wax paper was to ensure things don’t stick.  Yet when I tried to pry my caramelized pretzels off the paper, it ripped and left little bits of paper stuck to them.  First, I thought maybe I needed to freeze them a little harder.  Didn’t work.  After much screaming, swearing and tears, we decided to let them soften up some.  It got pretty messy, but we were able to pry them off without all the little bits of paper.  I do have to give a big huge thank you to my hubby, who patiently sat and pulled gooey, messy pretzels off the paper and handed them to me to dip.  I was able to finish them off today, and I must say, I have never been so happy to be done with something in my entire life. 

I think I might have lost my mind. 

This is just the week from hell.  We have the baby shower for my little brother and his girlfriend this Saturday, so I have been trying to get things ready for that.  It started out quite simple.  I was going to do my caramel/chocolate pretzel rods.  Well, that turned into the pretzels and some chocolate candies in these cute baby item shaped molds.  Then I realized that I needed to bag these up and so I bought the clear, cello bags and printed up some cute little stickers with a pink baby buggy and bought some adorable ribbon with pink, green, yellow and blue stars on it.  Then I thought that the bags would look too empty and needed something more.  SO I got the bright idea to find those white chocolate covered oreos and then use an edible marker and a rubber stamp of something baby related.  Unfortunately, none of the stores are carrying those oreos yet.  Everyone has them on order for the holidays, but nobody has them in yet.  So I decided to dip my own oreos.

The kicker is, other than the pretzel rods, none of this was asked of me.  I get these ideas into my head on how I think things should be, and damnit, that’s how it’s going to be.  I’m making myself crazy because of some insane idea in my head of how everything must be so cute and themed and perfect.  The hubby thinks I am a nutcase.

On top of all this, I had to bake cookies for the fall festival for Seb’s school on Thursday.  And remember to buy a gallon of cider.  It’s nearly unbelievable to me that in the 4 gazillion trips I’ve made to different store in the past 3 days that I have completely forgotten to buy the stupid cider every single time.  I figured I would do something easy for the cookies, oatmeal chocolate chip.  No problem, right?  Wrong.  The first batch turned out completely shitty.  I don’t know if my baking powder is old or what, but the cookies were completely flat, totally crispy 88 percent of the way and then yucky and raw right in the middle.  I just threw everything out and started over with a different recipe that didn’t call for baking powder, just baking soda.  The next batch turned out just fine, thank God, but that seriously cut into my oreo dipping time.  Now I’m going to have to do that and dip my pretzels in caramel tonight.  Aarrggh.

I’m not normally a drinker, but I bought a bottle of wine at the store today.  I certainly need it.  This stupid week cannot end soon enough.  I even asked Carol if she would work for me on Saturday just so I don’t have to get up so flippin early.  She did call me on Sunday and throw the offer out there that if I needed a day off, just let her know.  Today was my 50th straight day working.  I’m starting to get loopy.  So I took her up on the offer.  I might even sleep in until (gasp) eight o’clock on Saturday!

So, if between now and Sunday, some weird, incoherent (more incoherent than usual, I should say) rambling show up here, you know why. 

And I have a problem. Now that we are making more money, I can’t seem to stop shopping.  And it’s not like it’s even for the fun stuff like shoes or new clothes, either.  It’s for groceries.  Even though my fridge and freezer are both full and my cupboards and pantry are fairly well stocked, I keep buying food.  We had to scrimp and pinch so much the last year and a half that it is just such a relief to be able to go to the grocery store and buy pretty much whatever I want.  Before, I’d take what little bit of money we had available for groceries and buy what Bubba needed for home and school.  Then I’d buy the staples: milk, bread, eggs, etc.  And if there was anything left, I’d buy some stuff me and the hubby.  Let’s just say, most weeks, we ended up eating a lot of Ramen noodles and peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches.

I’m sure that eventually, I’ll get used to not having to worry about having enough money for groceries.  And it’s really nice to know that I’ll never have to eat another bowl of Ramen noodles in my entire life.  But for now, I’m sure the lovely people at Meijer just love me.  They probably hear "cha-ching!" as soon as I walk in the door.

Yesterday, I requested an information pack from Wayne State for the Library Science Graduate program.  I’ve finally made the the decision as to what I want to be when I grow up.  I think I’m going to try and start in the spring.  I could start in January, but I’d only have 3 weeks to get the entire admission process completed, so I think I’m going to wait and start in the spring.  That way, I have until March to get everything done.

I’m sure the hubby is happy that I’m finally making a choice.  He has been on me for a while to do so.  But it’s hard for me, knowing that I am making such a big decision all on my own.  I’m such an indecisive person!  I’d been waffling between LIS and ESL for a long time.  And then I started thinking that maybe I’d like to go back and get my teaching certificate.  Well, one month at latchkey cured me of that idea! 

I was looking through the course schedule last night and it looks like I’ll be able to take a few online/webcentric classes.  They also have distance learning at the Farmington Hills site, so that’s something I’ll definitely look into a little further.  It’s only 36 credits, 18 core credits and 18 electives, depending on your emphasis.  I’m leaning towards either reference or chidlren’s/young adult.

I’m pretty excited about getting my packet.  It feels good to finally have an aim as to where I want to go with my life.  I looked at the occupational outlook handbook online and it seems that there are going to be many librarians retiring in the next few years, so this is actually a good time to get into the field.  It’s not like I’ll be making oodles of money, but it’ll definitely be more than I make now and I’ll be doing something I really love and am interested in.  Things are lookin’ good.

The hubby informed me last night that his company Christmas party will most likely be December 21st, the day before we go to the lion king.  And I’m gonna have to attend with him.  Which means I’m gonna have to buy a dress and look nice.  Crap.

And just to make things worse, the hubby actually had the nerve to say, "So if you want to try and get yourself in a little better shape before then, that’s cool."  Yeah, he really said that.  And he’s still alive today.  It’s a miracle, really.  Don’t I have just the sweetest and most sensitive husband?  Butthead.

Dearest Husband,

Yes, I realize I have pms.  In fact, I’m probably more cognizant of the fact than you are.  So let me inform you that the snippy little comments and patronizing attitude are not helping.  And lest you forget, this past month has been most stressful.  Your mother has been hospitalized and they threatened to amputate her leg above the knee.  My godfather is currently hospitalized.  They need to put in a feeding tube but cannot because he has yet another infection.  I have come down with a mother of a cold that is just wearing me right down.  While our child is doing so much better in school this year, he is having plenty of issues at latchkey.  And speaking of latchkey, my new job has been the cause of much stress.  It is also the reason why I am on my 30th straight day of working.  Yes, I only work about 5 hours a day compared to your 8.5.  But I never, ever have a day off.  One day a week, I get to "sleep in" until 6 am.  Otherwise, I am up between 4 and 5 each morning.  And though I know you think I am just laying on the couch doing nothing on my break between latchkey shifts, I am not.  I am running loads of laundry to the laundry mat, going grocery shopping, meetings and other priorities that I have for latchkey, getting things prepared for dinner, etc.  The weekends are no better.  There seems to always be something going on.

So forgive me if I seem a little tired and crabby.  And please think before you open your mouth next time.

Your loving wife

p.s.  If I have to hear you complain about not getting enough sex one more time, I will be sorely tempted to knock your teeth out.