Out of My Mind

Last night sealed the deal.  My boss is in Florida right now, but I will be giving her my notice on Monday morning.  Sebastian had another major meltdown last night at latchkey, complete with kicking screaming, trying to run through the school, headbutting.  It was absolutely unbelievable.  I have never in my life ever seen him act that way.  I was absolutely mortified.  Teachers, parents, other staff all knew what was going on. 

I know my boss is going to be pissed, but I don’t care anymore.  My kid is falling apart.  He is in school for 11-11.5 hours a day!  It’s too much.  I see other kids that handle it just fine, but he is obviously not one of them and I have to do what is best for him.  The hubby is not thrilled about the loss of income, but at least he’ll still be working, so it won’t be like last year when he was out of work for 4 months and we were trying to live on my paltry pay from Lowe’s.  And I’m hoping that I might be able to find some part time work at a Library or something to help fill in the gaps.

That about sums up the last week. 

I went bra shopping yesterday and found out I was wearing completely the wrong size.  In fact, my boobs are so big, my bras have to be special ordered because they don’t normally carry that big a size in store.  God help us if I ever get pregnant again and they get any bigger.   And if the hubby makes one single comment about going to the army surplus store and stocking up on heavy duty tent material so we can get bras specially made, I will be forced to beat him senseless. 

The blackout happened at school this morning.  Due to wind gusts around 60 mph, we lost power here for about 5 minutes last night.  No biggie.  Luckily, I woke up when I heard everything shut off and was able to reset the clock.  But when I got to work this morning, the generator was huffing and puffing and it was obvious that we were not at full power.  About 8:30, we lost poser completely.  Lots of fun with nearly 40 screaming kids.  I never, ever want to do that again.  And of course the batteries in our flashlights (once we found them) only lasted about 5 minutes before they died.  One of the girls I work with told me that the Novi schools C.A.R.E. program is looking for workers and it is entirely possible that I could work a 9:30-3:30 shift, which would allow me to drop Seb off in the morning and be there to pick him up after school each day.  No more 11 hour school days could make a world of difference.  Now, my boss will be completely pissed off, but oh well.  I gotta do what’s best for my family.  And the current circumstances are definitely not what is best for us.

And how does ice skating fit into all of this?  Well, Seb’s pediatrician recommended that we get him into some activities outside the house.  The other night, he was watching the men’s U.S. national skating championship and thought it was the coolest thing.  Since he has poo-pooed every other activity I have brought up to him, I thought I would through skating out there to him.  Much to my surprise, he was totally into the idea.  Yesterday, I got on Google and the Novi Ice Arena offers basic skating classes, 7 weeks for $90. The next session starts at the beginning of April, with registration starting in about a month.  The hubby kind of rolled his eyes when I told him that his son wants to take skating lessons, but as long as it’s something Seb is interested in, he’ll be behind him 100%. 

And finally, our crazy kitty.  He goes in next week to be front de-clawed and neutered.  Hopefully, that will calm him down somewhat because he is totally obnoxious lately.  Now, I know it has been a long time since I’ve had a cat, but I really don’t remember Sophie acting this way.  He completely spazzes out in the middle of the night.  He’s bitten the hubby’s feet twice, drawing blood.  I don’t know if he is getting ready to lose his baby kitty teeth or what, but he’s been awfully chompy lately, which is annoying to me, scares Bub and makes the hubby sound like a whiney little boy.  Honest to God, some days, he’s worse than Bubba.

That’s how I feel.  The last few weeks have left me feeling so run down.  There was no school Monday or Tuesday, but of course we had latchkey, and three other schools joined us at our site as well.  22 kids showed up on MOnday and about 40 yesterday.  I worked a six hour shift both days and am just wiped!  I have had more than my fill of smart mouthed school kids.  That just reinforced that I made the right decision when I didn’t sign up to work over mid-winter break.  As if I needed any reinforcement.

I’m still battling a cold/sinus infection/whatever the hell it is my body is doing to me.  It leaves me feeling so tired and stuffy and drippy that I simply want to crawl into my bed and not come out for a few weeks.  Wouldn’t that be nice.  The crappy Michigan winter weather isn’t helping either.  SNow, below zero wind chills, icy roads are really not my cup of tea.  I  need me some sunshine and warm temps.

We have had a week of fairly good behavior from Seb, which has been nice.  I’m trying a lot harder to pick my battles and it is helping.  Last night, I was helping Seb do his homework, which can sometimes turn ugly when he gets frustrated or doesn’t understand something.  And when he starts flipping out, I get irritated and frustrated with his behavior.  This time, I stayed calm, walked him through the math and everything went so well!  Definitely a nice change of pace.  I’m off to the library later today to pick up a couple books on living with "difficult" and "active alert" children.  Not sure where Seb falls between the two categories, but if there are strategies that can help me, well I am all over that.  Anything that would help, especially with his behavior at school, would be so wonderful.  Momma’s getting desperate, here.

If you live in Michigan, January is a very important time of year.  The North American International Auto Show comes to town.  Super big deal.  I have gone a few times as a child because my uncle worked for GM and would get us tickets.

Yesterday, we took Bub to his very first auto show.  He loved climbing in and out of the cars, and seeing the concept cars and models.  The big highlight, though, was seeing the Bumblebee car, from the Transformers movie.  His face just lit up and he was jumping up and down.

One funny moment happened when he tried to climb into a very cool looking corvette.  Turns out, the big line of people on the other side of the car were waiting to have their picture taken in the ‘vette.  Much to the surprise of the man in the driver’s seat, Seb just hopped right in.  The people in line got a good laugh when the snooty model next to the car said to the hubby "Uh, sir, we are trying to take pictures here!"  Hubby’s face got pretty red, which I myself found pretty amusing.

Last night, the hubby and I had to sit down and do the Connor’s rating scale thing for Seb’s S3 meeting.  When I first heard about the test, I googled it and got a lot of mixed results.  I called Seb’s pediatrician and he reassured me that it was just a rating scale, not a diagnostic test and not to worry, just send him the results.  But last night, the hubby and I both commented on how vague and general the questions are.  Sebastian responds differently in different situations and with different stimuli.  I know Sebastian’s teacher has to fill out a test too, and I have a feeling we are going to be getting some drastically different responses.  From my googling, I know that adolescents take the tests themselves as well.  I’m wondering if Seb is going to be tested, and if so, who will do it and how do they administer the test.

I’m glad the hubby will be at the meeting.  I know I will probably get emotional, but he won’t let them try and pull any crap.  And he won’t hesitate to share his opinions as well.  Sometimes having a blunt, to the point kind of husband is a good thing.  What sucks is that we have to wait two weeks for the meeting.  It’s gonna be a long two weeks.

Seb’s teacher gave me a note this morning.  They have set up an S3 meeting for the beginning of February.  It will be us, the teacher, principal and school counselor.  The note said it was to discuss his behavior and interventions.  Today is the last day of the marking period for him, too.  I know that academically, he will do just great.  But I don’t even want to see what the comments are going to be because I know it’s gonna be ugly.

I’ve said a million times that Sebastian is lucky to have such a wonderful teacher this year.  I can see she’s really starting to get frustrated with him, and who can blame her.  I’m so frustrated with him, I’m surprised I haven’t pulled all my hair out.  I just can’t get him to see how serious this all is and it is making me crazy.

I have some good news to report today! Yesterday, Seb’s teacher did a benchmark reading assessment thing with all the students.  Not that I really know what this means, but the average second grae levels are 16, 18, 20, 24, 28.  In the fall, Seb scored a 24, which is good.  Yesterday, he scored a 28, top of the scale!  It makes my book nerdy little self feel all warm and fuzzy that I have such a great reader.  Good news is nice.  Make Erin happy.

The problems continue.  Today, I had to write him up because he pushed another child, knocking him down. He already got written up last week for pushing a child, causing him to fall and scrape his forehead. I don’t know what to do with this child. He was completely out of control this morning. Running away from me when I was trying to talk to him, throwing himself on the floor, kicking the wall and trying to scoot his chair all over when I finally got him isolated and sitting down. And of course, other moms and dads are in and out dropping their kids off. Looks real great that the supervisor of the program’s kid is just completely flipping out.

There were some issues in the beginning of the year, but since we’ve been back from break, he’s like a demon child. He’ll go for three or four days and have no problems, then something huge happens, like pushing another kid. I’m afraid they are going to kick him out of school!

As much as I enjoy the hours and pay of this job, I think I am going to see if I can find something else that will allow me to work while Seb is at school. It is becoming very clear that the extra 3.5-4 hours he’s at school with me each day are too much for him. I’m going to call his doctor and get a recommendation to get him into counseling as well. DH and I can talk and talk and talk to him. We have great conversations and think we are getting through to him, then he does something else that shows us he isn’t really taking any of it to heart. We can’t keep going on like this

We’re back from the doctor’s  office.  The doc said Seb does demonstrate some of the symptoms of ADHD, like the compulsiveness and activity.  But he’s not hyper.  He’s very bright and has no problems academically and so it’s possible that he might be getting bored in the classroom.  He sleeps 9-10 hours a night and that’s good.  And most likely if he did have ADD or ADHD, it would have presented itself long ago. 

The big thing is that Seb needs more socialization, so the doc suggested getting him into some outside activities.  We’ve brought this up to Seb before, and while he always is interested at first, when it comes time to actually sign him up, he backs out and doesn’t want to do it.  He also said he needs lots of structure and discipline, activities to help him burn off his extra energy but not get him overstimulated.

The doc wants to see him again in two to three months, sooner if the problems get worse.  He wants us to bring copies of all Seb’s report cards when we come.  He said he’s neurologically fine and definitely does not need any medicine, which was one of my concerns.

So we’re gonna try and find an activity that really interests him, be it hockey, soccer, dance, gymnastics, karate, whatever.  A lot of the other stuff, we have been doing, but I need to make sure that the hubby stays firm when it comes to discipline.  He tends to give in and let Seb off punishment early because he doesn’t want to deal with him.  Just keep on keepin on, I guess.

D for Doctor.  Sebastian’s appointment is this afternoon.  I have mixed feelings.  We told Sebastian about the appointment and I have a feeling he thinks he is going to go to the doctor and everything is magically going to be perfect.  We had a really good talk with him last night.  He had to fill out a paper for his write-up about pushing his friend.  He had to explain why he did what he did.  Of course, his automatic excuse was that he was out of control.  We talked the entire incident through and he finally said he wanted to keep having fun, playing the game that they had been playing outside.  We talked about how his friends realized that when it’s time to come in, they had to stop being silly, and that he needs to be able to listen and have control over himself to do the same thing.  I don’t know.  Every time I think we’ve had a good talk and have gotten through to him, he’s good for a few days then blows it.  We’ll see how he does this week.

And just a little side note in regards to my last post about the week from hell.  I spoke too soon when I said I was so happy the week was over.  It wasn’t.  On Saturday afternoon, Sebastian came down with some nasty 24 hour flu bug complete with the puking, diarhia, utter exhaustion, etc.  And of course the hubby is absolutely useless in those types of situations.

Praying for a much better week.