Out of My Mind

On Saturday, Seb and I went over to my parent’s house because it was Octoberfest (in the middle of September?) in the little town where I grew up and there were to be fireworks that evening.  It was…interesting.  My dad ended up walking back home with my nephew Lucas because he was tired and crabby and not behaving well, but left the stroller so that my mom could push it home.  She likes having something to hold herself up. 

So, on the way home, she was lagging behind with my other nephew and Seb, my brother Joe, my niece and I were walking and Seb and I had the following conversation:

Seb: I thought the reason Grandma walks so slow is because she is pushing Lucas in the stroller and he makes it heavy.

Me: No, Grandma just walks slow because she is a slow walker.

Seb: Huh, I thought it was because she has kankles.

My brother and I both just stopped, looked at each other and started cracking up.  Where in the world my son heard about kankles, I don’t know.  And to be fair, my mom doesn’t even have kankles.  The first thing my brother did when we got home was relate the newest "Bubba Story" to my sister.  We were kind, though, and didn’t tell my mom that her grandson thinks she has kankles.

Today is picture day at Seb’s school.  So last night when we were picking out clothes for today, I told him I thought he should wear his red polo shirt because he looks so handsome in it.  I may have also made a few more handsome comments, because he just looks so darn cute in that shirt.  Then, this morning I told him he looked handsome.  And when I dropped him off, I told him to smile nicely so that he looks good in his pictures.  He turns to me and says, "why do you keep trying to make me look handsome.  I already have enough problems with girls staring at me!"  I couldn’t help it.  I busted out laughing.  Apparently, my son quite popular with the ladies.  Oh, boy!

The other day, Sebastian says to me, "Mom, if the kitty ever gets sick again and has to wear that cone thing on his head, can we set him on the television to see if we can get some more channels?

That kid.  He cracks me up.

I would not be lying if I said that Sebastian has one heck of an imagination.  It’s always interesting to watch and listen to him while he’s playing with his toys.  Just a little bit ago, I was sitting on the couch reading and he was playing with his dragons and dinosaurs.  I was only half tuned in to what he was saying when I suddenly heard "Dirty mouth?  You need some Orbit White to clean that thing up!"  So said a pteranodon to a dragon.  It was all I could do to not just bust out laughing.  I put my book up in front of my face and laughed silently.  Where does he come up with this stuff?

Monday afternoon, after Sebastian’s conference, the two of us went for a walk. Along the way, we were talking about school. This is part of the conversation.

Seb: A lot of the girls at school have crushes on some of the boys now.

Me: Oh, really.

Seb: Yeah, it’s crazy.

Me: So, do any of the girls have a crush on you?

Seb: Nope. I’m just lucky I guess. Who would want to have girls chasing after you all the time, anyway?

Me: (laughing) You will. Just you wait.

It was really cute the way he said it. But the best part of the walk? He held my hand nearly the entire time. Now that he’s such a big second grader, he’s not into the whole showing affection in public thing. It’s embarrassing. But for whatever reason, he was okay with it this time. And it just topped off a great day.

Sebastian is too funny.  On our way home from the vet, he said he saw a lone goose on an isolated pond.  What he meant was ice-olated.  Whenever something is covered in ice,  a pond, lake, whatever, he says that it is isolated.  We’ve tried and tried to explain that the word isolated has nothing to do with ice, but he refuses to believe us.  He cracks me up.

He also makes my heart melt.  Walking through the parking lot to Kroger’s, today, he grabbed my hand.  Very rarely, will he let me hold his hand anymore.  And he never, ever grabs mine because he’s too big for that stuff now.  But today he did and it made this momma very happy.

Yesterday, Sebastian, the hubby and I went to the Tangers Outlet center in Howell.  We were on a quest for new shoes for myself and if the hubby could find something he liked, well, he could get some too.  I am partial to Nikes and since there is a Nike outlet there, I figured I could surely find something there that I wanted.  Sadly, that was not the case, but I will continue on in my quest for the perfect, and not too expensive pair of Nikes at a later date.  We did get some other stuff, (There is a Harry & David store there.  Oh. My. God.) though, so the day was not a total bust.

Afterwards, we hit Arby’s for lunch.  I wasn’t able to eat everything I had ordered and made the comment that my eyes must be bigger than my stomach.  Sebastian just looked at me for a moment and said, "Really, Mom.  You think so?  ‘Cause your stomach is pretty darn big."  I thought the hubby was going to wet himself right there in the middle of the restaurant.  And I laughed too, because, well, it’s true.  But still.  Seb seems to have inherited his father’s lack of tact.  Lord help us all.

The other day, while watching Mr. Rogers, Sebastian made this comment.  "You know, he’d be able to make his speedy deliveries so much quicker if he wouldn’t sing that stupid speedy delivery song all the time."  All I could do was laugh and agree with him.

Yesterday while I was on the phone with my mom, he was watching an Arthur video.  A little while later, he comes to me and starts asking about spin the bottle.  Apparently, they were playing it on the episode he was watching.  But this is Arthur.  What the heck are they doing playing spin the bottle??!  Anyway, I explained that boys and girls sit in a circle and one person spins the bottle and whoever it is pointing at when it stops, that is the person the spinner has to kiss.  He just looked at me in amazement for a few seconds and then said, "Boy, I hope I never have to play that game.  I don’t want to kiss girls!  Blech!!!"  It was so funny.  My mom could hear through the phone and was laughing so hard.

The things that come out of that boy’s mouth are just too much, sometimes.

For a while now, I have been meaning to create a category just for all those funny things that Sebastian says.  Well, I finally got around to doing it.  And of course, it is appropriately titled "Bubbaisms."

For example, today while I was dusting, I pulled down a picture of the hubby and Sebastian from our trip to Moody Gardens when Seb was just about a year old.  Seb look at the picture and said, "Wow!  Daddy sure had a lot more hair back then!"  See, it’s funny and true!

Other witticisms from my smart little guy:

"Sex is when grownups are naked under the blankets and do gross stuff."

"Mom, why are your boobs making noise?"  This led to a discussion on the benefits having underwires in your bras.

"Mom, how can you sleep at night, knowing you’ve thrown away things that could be recycled?!?"  I threw away a piece of cardboard that has been sitting on an endtable for the past week.  Yes, he is just the slightest bit dramatic.